Kitten -> Cat -> Deja Vu Scene 1

 It All Started around July 2020 When I finally reached home after moving back to my hometown after Corona Lockdown. Some unkown cat had her kittes in our old washroom. One out of it fell in the well and my father rescued it and after that I helped him to get dry and it became used to me. They were 4 this person is the last one weak and lean I used to feed him but other 3 used to escape when I touch and after few days everyone left except this guy. I think 2 out of 3 died and 1 cameback and he also used to me. He is chubby unlike the other guy. One day the lean one fell in some water, and he came back shivering home I tried to help him but he denied and he was sick for around 10 days and I think he passed away. The other guy is around I use to feed him but one day his mother came and threatened him to leave as she is carrying babies and need food. For 2-3 days he stayed but eventually he left and never came back.

I don't know why but tears are dropping from my eyes even now when I remember them.

One thing I understand is we never value the things when they are around but will feel bad they are not around. Even now this is true ... I am incrementally better in this aspect but don't know how to avoid it.

The similar story repeated almost 7 times even though journey is different I keep loosing them .... They are not my pets I just feed them and spend sometime and leave them to survive in the way they use to and I don't want to rely on me but I still support when they are around. I want them to enjoy their freedom but don't know how to escape from this sadness when I lose them in their survival game.

Just typed this to drain my emotions....